White trash Christmas: Trailer Park Boys get into spirit of season with ‘Dear Santa’

hlongley@centredaily.comNovember 29, 2013 

From left, Ricky, Bubbles, Mr. Lahey, Randy and Julian will celebrate the spirit of Christmas during the Trailer Park Boys’ “Dear Santa ... Tour.”

PHOTO PROVIDED

  • if you go

    What: Trailer Park Boys’ “Dear Santa ... Tour”

    When: 8 p.m. Dec. 6

    Where: Bryce Jordan Center, University Park

    Info: www.bjc.psu.edu, 865-5555

Throw a string of stolen twinkling lights onto even the crappiest of turds and you’ve got the makings of a festive holiday.

The last time the Trailer Park Boys celebrated Christmas, Bubbles was bailing Ricky out of jail just in time to join Julian’s latest shady, money-making venture. This time, the stars of the low-budget, fictional “reality show” (as per Ricky, “It’s kind of like ‘Cops’ but from the criminal’s point of view”) will spread some Christmas cheer with their “Dear Santa Claus ... Tour” on Dec. 6 at the Bryce Jordan Center. The show is meant for laid-back mature audiences only.

“Basically, Bubbles is going around trying to spread the true meaning of Christmas to people,” said Ricky (Robb Wells) in a recent interview. And he said he himself wants to meet the real Santa Claus so he can schmooze and get a lot of presents. “And of course, it’s all about making money, so ...”

In the end, we can assume Ricky and his gang of harmless derelicts will find the true meaning of Christmas.

“I just had one of those brain-learnin’ things pop into my head that wasn’t there a second ago ... basically, what is Christmas?” Ricky rhetoricizes in the 2004 TPB‘s “Xmas” video special. “Christmas should be getting drunk and stoned with your friends and family, people that you love. ... None of this presents and lights and stress ...”

It’s inevitable the boys and their mouths made for soap will catch a buzz and find trouble, which is guaranteed to happen when enablers surround themselves with enablers. On an average day, the loveable losers spend their time looking for pot, booze, pepperoni sticks and smokes. It’s an all-consuming lifestyle, admittedly not for everyone. But the boys have their limits. Ricky laughed when asked about embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

“He parties a little harder than we do. We kinda stick to the booze and the weed and the hash, not so much the crack,” he said. “It’s pretty embarrassing.”

Some people think the less you invest in material possessions, the likelier you are to be a deadbeat. Not true. It seems that life in a trailer park is all about the simple pleasures, hanging with your family and living for the moment.

“We don’t need a lot of money to be happy, and just the whole mentality of big family, it’s almost like a big campground almost. Most everyone seems to get along and no one’s real stressed out financially, and it’s just an easy life.”

And even after all the boys’ misadventures, they know Sunnyvale Trailer Park will always be home.

“We’re used to it, and it would be too weird to move somewhere else now,” Ricky said. “But if we did move to somewhere else, it would definitely have to be to another trailer park.”

As if it’s that easy. He was dismayed to hear about the ongoing trailer park and affordable housing crises in Centre County in which the park residents were forced to leave their homes to make way for land developers.

“Oh no, that’s horrible,” he said. “Uh, I don’t know what to tell ’em. ... it would be hard living in apartments and houses after living in a trailer park, so yeah, I feel bad for those people. That sucks.”

Greasy horror show

The Canadian mockumentary with a worldwide cult following finished filming season eight in August and it will soon premiere on the stars’ own Internet channel, Swearnet.com.

At the end of season seven, the boys were living high on the hog after smuggling marijuana over the Canada-U.S. border in a toy train set to Sebastian Bach (of Skid Row).

“I’m semi-retired now,” Ricky said. “So is Julian and we’re trying to get Bubbles to get to that, too. Hopefully nothing goes wrong, but right now, things are really good.”

Cast of characters

•  Ricky (Robb Wells): be-pompadoured, track-suit wearing master pot grower whose only real aspiration is to maybe, someday, finish high school

•  Julian (John Paul Tremblay): petty crime ringleader and king of the trailer park; never without a rum and cola in hand

•  Bubbles (Mike Smith): sweetly “touched” Coke-bottle specs-wearing kitty cat caretaker and more often than not the voice of reason

•  Mr. Lahey (John Dunsworth): the long-suffering, hard-drinking trailer park supervisor; dedicated to meting out vigilante justice and reliving his days on the police force

•  Randy (Pat Roach): perpetually shirtless cheeseburger addict and weekend trailer park supervisor; Mr. Lahey’s lover

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