Ask Emily | Confidence should come from within

January 19, 2014 

Dear Emily:

I cannot stop comparing myself to other girls. Everyone else is so much skinnier, prettier and more fun. I am hooking up with one of the hottest guys at our school and am invited to all the parties, and I still feel bad about myself.

How can I be more confident? I can’t help but to doubt myself.

Dear Not Confident:

Confidence shouldn’t come from who is hooking up with who or who is going to the big parties on the weekend. Confidence should come from what is inside and how happy you are. Who is to define what skinny, pretty and perfect is? The answer is no one.

It’s unfair that society can decide what those labels are at times. Comparing yourself to others is going to do you no good and will only bring you down.

Start looking for things that make you happy and bring you excitement, and use those things to make you more confident. Finding your confidence isn’t about your appearance; it’s about the way you talk, the way you think, the way you move and the way you make others feel. Believe it or not, all of those things are in your control. You can make change happen.

If you don’t like the way you feel when looking into a mirror, then change it. Find a good program to help you eat healthier, and find a workout program that will make you work hard so that you are successful. When you are successful, you will become confident. No more doubting yourself, because you are capable of many amazing things, I promise. It may take a lot of hard work, but get in the right mindset, make a change and believe in yourself!

Dear Emily:

I am turning 17 in a month or two, but I feel like I should be turning 21. I want to get out of high school and get out of childhood. Is this wrong of me to say or even think?

Dear Wishing to be Older:

I don’t think this is wrong of you to say or think, but I do think you should have a different mindset. Don’t wish the years away, because you are lucky to have them. Start enjoying your youth, because you only have so much of it until the real world comes crashing in hard on you.

There are so many little things that as a 16- or 17-year-old you are able to enjoy that adults are not.

Embrace the simplicity of what you have, because eventually you will be turning 21 and looking back at where time really went because time will fly by regardless of whether you are hoping it does or not.

High school is really a four-year adventure. There are the ups of it, and there are also the downs of it, but aside from the hardships of high school, you are receiving education.

Some people aren’t even able to say they’ve had any sort of education, so really, we are the lucky ones. With the education you receive in high school you can continue on in life whether it is going straight to working or continuing an education and eventually hitting the 21 mark.

As of right now, embrace your youth and enjoy being young while you can!

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