Overwhelming. I think that’s the best word to describe the feelings, fears and finality of downsizing. While I help people through this difficult process on a regular basis during my in-home appraisal appointments, most people are both excited to move on to a new phase in life and terrified about how to actually get there.
Treasure the trash
I think that the age old statement that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure is stupid.
Why? Ask yourself, why isn’t my trash my treasure?
If people who sort through Dumpsters or your curbside trash pile think that your unwanted stuff is treasure, then why don’t you? Some of the most valuable “trash” is in the homes of the guys who removed the rented Dumpster from your deceased grandma’s front yard after you cleaned out her house.
Do you ever wonder why all these people — seems like everybody you know — are involved in the buying and selling of antiques?
They are all calling themselves pickers ... they are trading, taking and trying to turn your unwanted stuff into cold, hard cash, and Americans need to realize that they have valuable stuff.
In your best interest
Is this a profile of your downsizing situation? Your son-in-law wants to throw everything away, so he doesn’t have to move it to your new residence. Your daughter wants you to keep everything that isn’t nailed down for sentimental reasons. Your granddaughter is searching for cool stuff for her first apartment and thinks your “vintage” pieces are cooler than Kim Kardashian.
There are other folks like nosy neighbors, friends of friends, your housekeeper, your landscaper, the local handyman — all of whom will give you “a few bucks” for your antique grandfather clock or Rococo revival armoire — just to “help you out.” Downsizing is stressful, and this is a trying time and others may try to take advantage of you.
Sometimes that “helpful” third party is a scout for an antiques reseller. Their interest in your objects may be a clue that your trash is worth money. Of course, when I make statements like this to help folks, I receive hate mail from people and organizations who don’t want me to make you aware of what’s really happening out there.
Time is precious
Give yourself much more than one long weekend to decide what to downsize, and ask your loved ones to hang around in order to give you help.
I was there when a 40-year-old son first learned that his 85-year-old mother had once dated boxing legend Joe Louis in the 1940s. From a desk drawer, this woman uncovered a photograph of herself and Louis as a couple at a USO dance — a photo that her son had never seen. He was so shocked by the information flowing from his mother during the appraisal session that he spent most of the afternoon asking additional questions about his mother’s life during the war years.
Downsizing is a big step. Talk to your family and friends and ask for help. You didn’t accumulate all of that stuff alone, so why would you be expected to make decisions about all of it without any help?!