“The Loss of a Loved One”

By Rachel Woll

My bike wheels were turning at light speed and my eyes were focused on the trees ahead. The pure chirping of the red cardinal was becoming more and more clear. In the back of my mind I was hoping that the camera in my right hand wouldn’t fall because my dad had just bought it.

Finally, I spotted the beautiful red bird sitting restlessly on a pine tree branch. The look he expressed showed that he knew someone was chasing him. Coming to a slow stop, I shot out my camera and, “CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.” I wasn’t pleased with my shot but by the time I looked up the bird was far off in the distance. I rode home once again without the perfect picture I have longed to take. I have never to this day gotten a perfect picture of the bird, but I will never give up. Of the hundreds of pictures, you would think that one would be decent, but take after take, the picture is unclear or the bird has looked away.

I wouldn’t have started this hobby if my great grandparents hadn’t died.

My great-grandparents loved each other very much. Their love for the red cardinal was especially evident. When my great-grandmother passed away in 2005, and my great-grandfather in 2006, it became my mission to capture one on camera.

They were the first deaths that my brother and I had experienced in the family. I knew my great grandparents very well and having people I love and admire die for the first time was really hard. Before they passed, seeing a cardinal wasn’t such a big deal. However, now that they’ve gone seeing one makes me feel like my great grandparents are still here with me. We seem to get a lot of them in our bird feeders and I always try to take a picture of them but they sense my presence and fly off.

When my great-grandma first started dying it was because of a serious stroke she had while at her house. My great-grandpa called for help and soon she was on her way to the hospital. I remember the visits we took to the hospital very much. It was really hard for me because when I first walked into her room she had tubes going down her throat and all these crazy things attached to her. It was so different from how I have seen her before. I knew in my heart that she wouldn’t have wanted us to see her like that.

I will never forget the day after she died when my mom, brother and I took a walk down a trail in the woods in the back of our neighborhood. We held our heads down in solemn silence and none of us wanted to say much. The first sign of hope was there, that day in the woods. In the middle of the dried out stream was a little puddle and above it, a large branch stuck out from the ground. A beam of light struck down on it through the tree branches like some sort of heavenly ray. And out of nowhere this beautiful red cardinal placed himself right on top of the branch. That was when I knew that she was watching out for us. It put a big smile on all of our faces, and a tear or two as well.

Her and my great-grandpa were some of the most down-to-earth people I knew. I guess you could say that my grandma was stubborn because she wouldn’t take no for and answer and she always said she could do stuff on her own. If she gave you some money for your birthday and you offered it back she would turn you down in a heartbeat. I always felt bad though because they lived in this beat up little house in the middle of nowhere and it was in horrible condition. No matter how hard you tried to persuade them, they would never move from that house. It was like a piece of them that they couldn’t let go. I think that is one of the things that made them who they were.

A year after my great-grandma died, my great-grandpa died as well. From the first time I saw him cry at her funeral, I knew that things would never be the same. He went further and further downhill in that year. Physically, he was becoming quite a mess and I think emotionally he wasn’t doing very well either, but he never showed it. He was that same perky guy who never took that grin off his face showing his chipped tooth until the moment he died.

He also had suffered from a stroke but his wasn’t as severe as my grandma’s. The hard thing about his was that before he died, he had developed short term memory loss. Every time we stopped in the nursing home for a visit he would ask my brother if he was driving yet about eight times until we left. His funeral was hard because it was sad to think that neither of those two great people would be around anymore. They loved everyone for who they were and nothing else. “God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not meant to be

So he put his arms around you, and whispered come with me

With tearful eyes we watched you, as we saw you pass away

Although we love you deeply, we could not make you stay

Your golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest

God broke our hearts to prove to us... He only takes the best.”

— Anonymous

This poem struck my heart from start to finish and reminded me to not take life and love for granted. God’s gift of life is a privilege that can easily be taken away from us. That is why you should live every day with a smile on your face.

The red cardinal reminds me of how even when you’re gone, there will always be a piece of you left behind. My camera will sit by me until I get that perfect picture someday. My great grandparents were some of the nicest people I have ever known and they will always hold a special place in my heart.