I've given up my BVDs
for Lauren's, Klein's and Halston's.
I've traded in my Fruits of the Loom,
for undies that are more fun.
I can now undress with the best of them,
before aerobics at Le Club.
No longer to be subjected to
the generic undies snub.
So, thank you very much Paine Webber
without whom I could never afford
to cover my rear
with expensive gear ...
I look like a gourd.