I've given up my BVDs
for Lauren's, Klein's and Halston's.
I've traded in my Fruits of the Loom,
for undies that are more fun.
I can now undress with the best of them,
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before aerobics at Le Club.
No longer to be subjected to
the generic undies snub.
So, thank you very much Paine Webber
without whom I could never afford
to cover my rear
with expensive gear ...
I look like a gourd.