I recently participated in a wonderful occasion: my son getting married. Beyond the pomp and circumstance, however, this event prompted me to reflect about being a father.
It would seem that my responsibility as a father to Ben has officially ended. As a wise friend observed, with marriage Ben must turn first to his spouse, not to me. One thing, however, won’t change: Ben will always be my son. This part of fatherhood is for life.
Even when our children have moved out, pay their own bills, get married, and become parents, we fathers will still see them in diapers; remember reading stories to them at bedtime; recall teaching them to hit a baseball and watching them drive away in our car. They grow up, but not in our memories.
ACTION IDEAS:
• It is a good to occasionally reminisce about each of your children. Recall what they were like at various stages—the joys as well as the sorrows, the triumphs as well as the challenges.
• Too often we so desire that your children “grow up,” that we fail to fully appreciate our children as they are. Take time to focus on the joys of each stage of your child’s development, whether they are babies, toddlers, or even 13 year olds! They grow up fast.
• What is it like to be a father of a married son or daughter? Log onto our blog page and share with us how fatherhood for you has changed—or not changed.
The local fathering effort, in cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, provides bi-weekly action ideas to stimulate conversation between fathers and parents.
For more information, or to join local conversations, contact
Mick Trombley at mick@apartmentstore.com
David Eggebeen at e5x@psu.edu
Robert Orndorff at rmo104@psu.edu
Marc McCann at 237-1719 or marc@thesecondmile.org
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