Parenting is best when done together

My daughter and son-in-law had a “reveal” party for their pending twins (boys) this past weekend. They found being a parent of one child a challenge; now they will have three children younger than 2. Being parents of twins ourselves, we are fully aware of what lies ahead for them. However, my son-in-law said something that I found encouraging.

He said “… I know it will be tough, but we are determined to work together on caring for our kids.”

Being a father or a mother can be overwhelming when done alone.


▪ Parenting is best when done together. Four hands are better than two, but it is most important that all four hands work together. Work to agree on the “nuts and bolts” of raising your children — discipline, bedtime, daily schedules, etc.

▪ Parenting is best when done with support from others. Help with raising children is more than just quality child care or a reliable baby sitter. Look for someone who can be there for you such as a parent, a friend or a neighbor for needed advice, a shoulder to lean on or for venting.

When things get tough, turn to each other, not away from each other. There will be stresses, crises, mistakes, heartaches and frustrations. It takes work to face these challenges together. Rather than playing the “blame game” when things go wrong, or demanding that the other person “do their job,” or even walking away from trouble — be determined to work together on caring for your kids.

The local fathering effort, in cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, provides monthly Action Ideas to stimulate conversation between fathers and parents. For more information, or to join local conversations, contact David Eggebeen at, Robert Orndorff at, Mick Trombley at, Chris Dufour at, Mark Oleynik at, Doug Loviscky at or Marc McCann at