Living Columns & Blogs

Why ‘new year, new me’ is the wrong philosophy

Dear Emily: The New Year has crept up so fast, what can I do to make it the best year yet?

Dear Resolutions: I struggle with the concept of New Year’s as I’m still forming my thoughts on how I want to take it on. I think there is something refreshing about having an excuse to start things fresh. Hit reboot. That said, I also don’t see why a calendar date would be a reason to set new goals that can be made any day of the year. I think it’s important to set goals when needed and make an effort to accomplish them no matter when that time is. Sure, you can buy your gym membership on Dec. 31, 2018, but you can also buy a gym membership and treat yourself to a new pair of running sneakers on May 12, 2019. There should be no time stamp for when we want to make the most of our days, opportunities, hours and most importantly, ourselves.

We are evolving every day and in every moment so it’s important to take care and work on ourselves 365 days a year.

As you take on this new calendar cycle, my advice to your quest of making it the “best year yet” is that it is simply up to you. But with my stream of conscious here are a few things I suggest:

  • Surround yourself with people who make you happy. Be a mess when you want to be. Embrace your feelings. Take care of your body but don’t forget that your mind is important and needs love too. Listen to your body and listen to others. Do that thing you’ve been wanting to do and make that thing yours. Do not make excuses, ever. Set a goal and accomplish it. Follow through on your plans. Cancel your plans when you want. Broaden your horizons and expand your mind. Know that you can do anything but not everything. Reflect on what you want these next 365 days to be and make it happen.
  • There are tchotchke and quotes everywhere that say “new year, new me.” You know what I think of that? I think it can kiss my butt. Let’s take who we are today and challenge ourselves a bit more for tomorrow. Let’s work to love ourselves for what we were given. Every day is a new opportunity to learn something new and to improve, it does not take a mark on a calendar to make that happen.

Dear Emily: I have a first date with a guy that I’ve liked for a really long time. I haven’t been on a real date in so long and I’m not sure what to wear. What is a good first date outfit?

Dear First Date: Well first off, first dates can be so exciting. I understand nerves likely play a role too but do not over think it. I believe that on a first date you should wear what you feel best in — something that represents you authentically. That outfit is different for everyone. For me, it’s most likely going to be warm colors, layers, polka dots and a lot of jewelry, but for the gal next to me it might be a black cocktail dress with pumps. Both do the job!

That said, consider where you are going on the first date. You aren’t going to wear heels to go bowling and you probably won’t wear a hoodie to go to a nice dinner. It’s most important to wear what you feel comfortable in. If Converse are your go-to and staple, wear them. If pearls are your thing, throw them on.

I think embracing your natural beauty from make-up to clothing is important, too. You don’t want to hide the true you because eventually that’s all you’ll be able to show so let it shine from the get-go. The imperfections that you may want to hide is very possibly something that your date will appreciate and like most about you.

If you really want me to help you break down an outfit, I think everyone looks really great in a pair of jeans and black T-shirt. You simply cannot go wrong. It also gives opportunity to add something to the outfit that makes it you. Whether it be a funky bag, comfy pair of shoes or cool pair of earrings you have the opportunity to be comfortable and look good all at the same time!

Overall, I think simplicity is the way to shake it when you are tackling a first date. Most importantly, enjoy your date and be present in the moment. Don’t think too much about how you look and just enjoy the company that you are given.

Emily Chertow is a Penn State graduate living in New York City who grew up in State College.