Healthy relationships: Everyone knows someone affected by domestic or sexual violence

#Every1KnowsSome1. This hashtag, used to promote Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), has become even more real to me in the past few weeks.

As people have stopped me in the community and posted on social media to congratulate me on my retirement as executive director of Centre Safe, I’ve realized, once again, how connected we are in Centre County. It has been a lovely way to celebrate 25 years spent working with amazingly dedicated staff and volunteers as we work to empower survivors of domestic and sexual violence and eliminate that violence from our lives and communities. We have also had the support of the community, precisely because everyone knows someone whose life has been impacted by domestic or sexual violence.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month each October, Centre Safe creates multiple displays called “An Empty Place at the Table.” The displays are tables, set with dishes and flatware in place-settings. And at each place is a small card describing someone whose life was lost through domestic violence. The place settings, some in long tables, some as individual settings, are a stark reminder that too often, domestic violence leaves and empty place at the table. Where once sat a beloved family member — a mom, a child, a sister or brother, a neighbor or a friend — now there is only an empty place. Domestic violence robs all of us of those we love.

As my colleague, Dawn McKee, has set up the Empty Place at the Table displays in the local YMCA’s and single place settings at houses of worship, retail shops and libraries, inevitably someone will ask what it is all about. When Dawn explains, those who asked almost always tell of a family member or friend whose life was impacted by violence. Everyone knows someone.

I am so proud of the work we’ve done together these past 25 years as a community to address and end domestic violence. We’ve collaborated to educate schools and workplaces about the impact of domestic violence and how best to respond if someone discloses that they’ve been a victim. We’ve worked with law enforcement and health care providers and the justice system to improve the response to victims so they will feel safer coming forward and asking for help. We’ve worked to create safe places for supervised visitation and custody exchanges and to provide free legal assistance for victims. We’ve provided shelter and expanded the housing available to those fleeing violence in their homes.

But there is more to do. There are still too many families where violence is the norm, too many friends, neighbors and co-workers who are unsure of how to respond so they say nothing. For too many victims and survivors, financial independence, safe housing and self-sufficiency remain beyond reach.

So the work will continue, with new leadership and new energy. Jennifer Pencek will begin her tenure as the new executive director of Centre Safe (and the author of this column!) in November. I know that she will find connections and community support just as I have over the years in this work. And Centre County will continue to support victims/survivors in new and creative ways. Because domestic and sexual violence impact all of us. #Every1KnowsSome1