On Wednesday morning the alarm on my cellphone woke me up at 5. I was having trouble getting out of bed, so I opened my Fandango app to see what time “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” was playing this weekend.
Approximately 10 minutes later I was behind the wheel of my Jeep, listening to music streaming from that same phone, which was then carried to my car speakers courtesy of a bulky black wire because I didn’t want to take a chance that the local radio station would play a song that I hadn’t preapproved.
Fortunately by the time I arrived at the gym I had cut that cumbersome wire out of the mix entirely using a pair of Bluetooth headphones synced to my phone, which was already running low on battery. It was odd because I don’t make very many calls.
When I returned home at about 6:30 a.m., I put my laptop computer on the kitchen table and went online to IMDB so that I could decide which episode of “The Golden Girls,” a series that went off the air in 1992, to stream while making breakfast because predawn television stinks and the remote was somewhere under the couch.
I fixed a bowl of oatmeal, an apple and a hard-boiled egg and brought them over to the table, where I decided that I needed a new pair of sneakers and redirected my browser to Nike.com.
After paying for my shoes and washing the dishes, I went upstairs at 7:15 a.m. to take a shower and try to brainstorm ideas for my upcoming story on “Technology Today” that didn’t make me sound like a Luddite who had wandered into the Apple Store shortly after awakening from a two-decade coma.
I got out of the shower at about 7:30 a.m. slightly cleaner but still without any ideas. Undeterred, I decided that a little research might help, so I went to Google and typed in the phrase “cat plays with yarn.”
Roughly 10 minutes later, I was on YouTube watching an interview between comedians John Mulaney and Paul F. Tompkins mostly because it was there and I hadn’t watched it in a month.
I left for work at about 9:15 a.m. and thought that the car seemed chilly. For my own peace of mind I took a quick glance at my smart watch and saw that this morning’s temperature was exactly 10 degrees, confirming my initial suspicion that it was, in fact, cold outside.
By the time I arrived at work at about 9:30 a.m., I still had no idea what I was going to write, which was OK because I still had approximately 30 minutes of emails, Facebook posts and Google News updates to get through before anything serious could get started.
Finally, at 10 a.m., I drafted a Gchat to my editor in which I argued that I was the wrong person for this story because I don’t interact much with technology on a daily basis.