Fathering: Promote your child’s curiosity
.png "The writer in front with two of his sons (Alex to left, Aidan in back); wife Denise on right, and Alex’s girlfriend, Courtney, in middle). This picture was taken in middle of rainforest hike in Costa Rica in April, with Alex serving as Spanish translator.")
One of my adult sons exhibited lots of curiosity growing up, with questions about foreign cultures and how things work, to math and history and all things in between. In 2005, I enrolled him in a weekly educational subscription for kids. One component of these readers was learning Spanish — and my son embraced this, eagerly awaiting these booklets to arrive in the mail. Soon this 8-year-old was walking around the house pointing out objects and counting to 100 in Spanish.
My wife and I feel fortunate that he had this inclination for curiosity, and so we tried to maximize it however and whenever we could. Fast forward to today: Alex now lives in Panama, teaches math in an international high school, and is fluent in Spanish. His curiosity has led him to travel to over 50 countries, and he’s also lived and taught in Morocco and Cambodia. I’m not trying to take credit for this lifelong love of learning he has — but we certainly tried to encourage and facilitate it. Thinking about my other two sons — we could have been more intentional and worked harder at promoting curiosity.
And looking back, I can now see how intentionally nurturing curiosity helped to shape his path. Harvard Education Associate Professor Elizabeth Bonawitz wrote that while the spark of curiosity can diminish as children grow older, there are simple practices — like encouraging children to ask more questions — that can increase curiosity and improve their learning outcomes. Other perspectives across the lifespan reinforce the value of curiosity to wellness and quality of life, like Kerry Burnight’s “Joyspan,” which focuses on living and aging well by including “growth” as an intentional action.
ACTION IDEAS:
Think back to your childhood. Did your father and mother encourage your curiosity? Did they share their interests and passions, and perhaps spark your interest in them?
Encourage your kids to ask more questions, think through issues, and utilize a variety of resources (besides AI) to learn and grow.
Discuss the topic of curiosity with your partner. Are there things you could do yourselves to model curiosity more for your children?
Consider creating monthly “curiosity goals” with your child, whether for them or for both of you together. These could include learning to play an instrument, exploring a park, taking a lesson in disc golf, learning about a new city and traveling there, etc.
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Marc McCann is an internship coordinator at Penn State who has been involved in human services and the local fathering effort in Centre County for 25 years. In cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, we aim to provide monthly Action Ideas to stimulate conversation among families. To comment on this article, for more information, or to join local conversations, contact Marc at marc.mccann88@gmail.com. To read more, visit www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571382497388