Fathering: ‘Here’s looking at you, kid’
I vividly remember the moments when I first met my two children, Lanie and Meyer. My wife and I had decided to be surprised on the gender for both pregnancies, and that made their arrivals even more exciting for us and all of the amazing doctors and nurses in their respective delivery rooms. While both of their births were different, the similar moments when I locked eyes with my daughter and son will always stay with me. As counselor and mentor Chip Dodd once said, “We come out of the womb looking for who’s looking at us,” and I’ve taken that reminder very seriously over the years.
Parents know that we need to keep an eye on our children to ensure that they are safe, fed, growing and thriving, but I really feel that what Dodd was getting at is that we need to look deeply at our children and understand more and more about them each day. From making eye contact when they’re talking to us to watching how they’re interacting with others to showing a genuine interest in what brings them joy, we show our care for our kids when we are interruptible and observant. As parents, no one should know our child better than we do. When we intentionally live this out, our kids come to recognize that we deeply love them and are committed to continually learning more about who they are and who they are becoming.
As my wife and I prepare to welcome our third child in just a few short weeks, I can’t wait to meet our new son or daughter and to be one of the first faces that they see when they enter this world. While I know that moment will hold a forever special place in my heart, I also know that it will be the countless more looks in that child’s direction over the course of their life that will really make an impact and demonstrate their father’s heart for them.
Alex Raup is the proud dad of Lanie, 5 and Meyer, 3, and he and his wife, Mackenzie, will be welcoming their third child later this month. Alex serves as the principal of Radio Park Elementary School in State College and has been employed by the State College Area School District for his entire career having previously served as an English teacher, high school coach, and advisor of various clubs. His passions include running, swimming, skiing, reading, attending State High and PSU sporting events, and whatever his wife and kids are into at the moment. In cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, we aim to provide monthly thoughts and reflections to stimulate conversation among families. To comment on this article, for more information, or to join local conversations, contact Alex at adr25@scasd.org. And to read more articles like this one, visit the Centre County Fathering Group on Facebook.