Clergy: Don’t underestimate the power of kindness

It was my turn to gather with the Grace Lutheran Preschool children for monthly chapel time. Soon I would be in the sanctuary with three full classes of young children, approaching the end of the morning, teeming with energy, and overflowing with anticipation for lunch, going home and playing outside. How could I ever compete with all that? I wondered if I had anything of value to offer them aside from a Bible lesson that I feared might sail way over their heads.

So I made my way from the office to the sanctuary as much out of obedience to the schedule and the routine as anything else. At the very least, I knew I could play a little piano for them — they always seem to like that. But after the music ended, it would be a matter of managing the chaos and trying to sneak in a few mentions of Jesus before attention spans evaporated. I remembered what I was like at that age; the warmer the weather got, the keener I became to be outdoors and not cooped up inside. I figured these little saints had to be feeling the same.

As the classes began arriving, I was still in the process of setting things up. I hadn’t even had an opportunity to play a single note yet. But as I began walking toward the piano, a little girl intercepted me and excitedly said, “I need to tell you something!” In that split second, I began to imagine what little detail she might be so incredibly thrilled to share. Was it something about a pet? A favorite food? An upcoming trip? What was causing her to smile so broadly and to need my attention so insistently?

With eyes wide and full of affection, she simply said, “I like you!” She said it with such sincerity and genuineness. There was no doubt she felt it deeply, and with those three words, my heart overflowed.

My half hour with the children passed so quickly and enjoyably. We laughed, prayed, sang and simply enjoyed being together. Amid so much fatigue from the unrelenting busyness of the church schedule and the exhausting anguish of the daily news cycle, I went into that time with the children without much spiritual gas left in my tank, unsure if I had much to offer them. But by the grace of God, they had something to offer me.

It reminded me that we live in such a transactional world, where we think we only have worth if we have something concrete, rare or valuable to offer someone in exchange for whatever commodity they possess. We buy low, sell high and reduce everything — even our relationships — to mere commerce.

But in the simple love of a little preschooler, I was reminded that the greatest gift we have to offer is our presence. She was delighted purely because I was there and because she rightly sensed that I cared about her. And in her three simple words: “I like you!” I knew she cared too. In that fleeting moment, the Holy Spirit created something beautiful that impacted that whole room, the whole day, the whole week and beyond ...

Throughout the New Testament, we learn that how we treat one another matters greatly. In this achievement-oriented world of ours, it is revolutionary to read in Colossians 3:12 that our calling as God’s beloved people is to clothe ourselves not with honors, accolades, academic degrees and resume-building accomplishments, but “with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” Similarly, in Ephesians 4:32 we are counseled to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”

This doesn’t mean that we ignore the many injustices in our world or give evil a free pass. But in these polarized times, when nastiness and bitterness seem perpetually in fashion, God’s call to be kind and gentle is as counter cultural as it gets. Indeed we can (and should!) disagree, but we can do so with grace, humility and humanity.

Friends, your simple, loving, gentle presence empowers you to change the world. That change might be gradual, one relationship at a time, one room at a time, one group at a time. But kindness is just as viral as vitriol has proven to be. It is our blessing to receive an abundance of unconditional love from our Lord, and we carry it so that we can share it. Doing so isn’t complicated or burdensome. If you wonder how to begin, I suggest you simply start with three little words: “I like you!”

Rev. Scott E. Schul is the senior pastor of Grace Lutheran Church in State College.