‘A beautiful soul.’ Centre County mother-to-be remembered by family as caring, generous
The first baby shower was supposed to be Sunday.
It would have been the latest step in Walt and Kayte Derhammer’s journey into parenthood, one her husband said left her heart “filled with joy.” Two other showers were planned for this fall to celebrate their son, Koleton William, who was due to arrive Oct. 24.
Those plans, however, were suddenly and violently ripped away when Kayte was rear-ended and killed by a driver whom state police at Rockview said was traveling at a high rate of speed.
All the excitement and worry that comes with being a parent was replaced with decisions that seemed unfathomable before 6 p.m. Sept. 6. Koleton died that day and his mother died Monday at Geisinger Medical Center.
Inside their one-story home nestled among the rolling hills and cornfields of Spring Township, Walt described feelings of emptiness in the days since their deaths. Mary Fogle, Kayte’s mother, shared feelings of anger.
Mike Kocher, Kayte’s father, spoke through tears and shared a metaphor each of them appeared to agree with.
“I feel like I’m in the open sea without a paddle,” he said.
Love, Remi and generosity
Their grief was palpable, but so too was their love for someone they remembered as beautiful, loving, caring and full of kindness. The type of person who lightened every room she walked into.
The State College Area High School and Penn State alumna loved the Centre County Grange Encampment and Fair. She was once a member of the Girl Scouts and the FFA.
She enjoyed dance, cooking, entertaining, playing fantasy football with her co-workers at Vicus Capital and reading. But there were two things at the top of Kayte’s list of favorites: Their dog Remi and celebrating special events, especially Christmas.
As her husband described it, inviting the Derhammers somewhere meant you were also inviting Remi. And if Remi wasn’t invited, you were lucky to have one of them make an appearance while the other stayed with their dog.
“We missed out on a lot of life and going and doing things because our life was with our dog and our focus was with our dog,” Derhammer said.
Frugal in most aspects of her life, those norms went out the window when Christmas rolled around. No matter how many times family members insisted they didn’t need anything, Kayte’s generosity meant they were going to get something.
And it was non-negotiable.
“I never understood how she could be so generous and also worry so much about whether ends were going to meet every time,” Derhammer said. “She had no problem spoiling her mother, her father, myself. Anyone she ever bought presents for, it was always too much. And it was just because that’s who she is.”
Walt and Kayte knew of each other through their previous employment, but their relationship blossomed after the shy pair matched on an online dating app. Their first date was at Quaker Steak & Lube.
He was adamant he was going to pay the bill, but so was she. The compromise? Walt would pick up the bill for the first date, but wouldn’t contest her paying next time. After all, that would mean there was a second date.
At the end of recounting some of the earliest stages of their lives together, his voice faded to a whisper and tears rolled down his face.
“It’s been a while since I thought about it,” Derhammer said.
Kayte, whose maiden name was Kocher, was 33 weeks pregnant when she was rear-ended on Interstate 99 in Benner Township by a 31-year-old Boalsburg man driving a GMC Yukon, police wrote in a crash report. Traffic was congested because of an unrelated crash nearby.
The 29-year-old was flown by medical helicopter to Geisinger Medical Center. Koleton died Friday at the hospital of maternal blunt force trauma, the Montour County Coroner’s Office said. His mom died Monday of multiple blunt force trauma.
Their manners of death were pending as of Wednesday, the coroner’s office said. No charges have been filed; an investigation is ongoing.
‘She was going to be a wonderful mother’
If they had the opportunity to parent as they hoped, Derhammer said Kayte would have been the authoritative type — the one who makes sure nobody misses an appointment or school. His job would have been to be the “fun one.”
“She was going to be a wonderful mother,” Derhammer said. “She cared about everything, so there was never going to be anything that was overlooked or not thought of.”
Fogle and Kocher, her parents, saw her nurturing and protective nature from a young age, especially when she would dote on her little sister. Koleton would have been “amazing,” Fogle said.
“By who she was, the heart she had,” Fogle said when asked how she’d like her daughter to be remembered. “The dedication, and the mother she would have become.”
Added Kocher in response to the same question: “A beautiful soul. Very gracious.”
Even in the face of tragedy, Derhammer spoke lovingly about the beauty of Centre County and the outpouring of support he and his family have received.
As a Luzerne County native, he still considers himself an outsider, though he was quick to say he has never felt like one. Whether it was a landscaper offering his services at no charge for the rest of the year, a fundraiser for the family or receiving message after message, Derhammer appeared genuine in his gratitude.
And his message to nearly all of them has been the same, especially those who are married or have children: Hug your loved ones. Then give them another for him.
“I come from an area that is literally known as the Valley with a Heart, but the Valley with a Heart does not have half the size of a heart as Happy Valley,” Derhammer said. “There is a reason I stayed here and every day I see that reason, and I don’t think I’m going to leave. I hope that when people think of me they think of the love that has been spread and not about the sorrow that we are feeling.”
Donations for the family are being collected at the Rolling Ridge Weis Markets.
This story was originally published September 12, 2024 at 4:14 PM.