State College couples, families prep Christmas celebrations for first time in two years
Dianne Miller found it difficult to transfer care of her husband of about 30 years to Foxdale Village, viewing it as a tacit acknowledgment she was no longer able to meet all of his needs on her own.
The 75-year-old Connecticut native was comforted as the years rolled on because she was almost always able to visit at the drop of a hat, but the coronavirus ripped that away almost overnight.
Miller, along with tens of thousands of other family members of long-term care residents, largely couldn’t visit facilities until the calendar flipped to 2021.
Traditions fell by the wayside, visits were arranged over the phone or through a window, and holidays were spent alone. But this year, with the vaccine rolled out and loosened restrictions, residents are excited to again celebrate the holidays with their families.
“We could not touch each other. I think that’s the important thing; that sense of touch, hugging or giving him a kiss on his head. That was probably the hardest part of all of this,” Miller said. “I’ve had a very interesting life, but I would still say this was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. My best friend, the person I love, I was unable to help him or be around him even though I knew he was being taken care of.”
The pandemic ravaged the long-term care industry for much of the past 20 months.
Nearly two-thirds of Centre County’s 273 deaths attributed to the disease were among long-term care residents, while nursing homes throughout the state have said they are dealing with dire staffing shortages that have forced many of them to stop accepting new residents.
That’s prevented hospitals teeming with COVID-19 patients, like Mount Nittany Medical Center, from discharging those who would ordinarily require a lower level of care.
Still, the vaccine offered some respite. Foxdale Village, according to the state Health Department, is one of at least two nursing or personal care homes in Centre County to have every one of its residents vaccinated.
That includes Doug Miller, 80, and his wife, Grace. The two met at Drake University, married in 1964 and moved to Happy Valley five years later so Doug could work as Penn State’s orchestral studies director.
They were rarely apart from one another — seldom for more than two weeks at a time — and expected that to continue as Grace, 78, moved to a new Foxdale neighborhood in February 2020. The pandemic took that away, too.
That meant no more games of Scrabble, Doug’s one-man concerts or making memories together with their beagle named Belle Canto — Italian for “beautiful singing” — until the vaccine was available.
“Last year, there were probably very few people that wouldn’t consider that one of the most challenging years of their lives,” Doug Miller said.
The pandemic took slightly less of a toll on self-described introverts Marsha Haack and her 102-year-old mother, Violet McLane. The two found different ways to connect, whether through FaceTime twice a week or playing Words with Friends all day long.
They even found a way to celebrate McLane’s 101st birthday in style. After all, she was born on the heels of the Spanish flu and was living through another pandemic.
Several family members made posters that read “Happy birthday,” while others waved pompoms as McLane looked out from a balcony.
They’ve since celebrated more birthdays, major holidays such as Thanksgiving and turned their attention toward Christmas. Whether online or in person, they’re just looking forward to being together, Haack said.
“It’s awfully hard. It was very lonely when I couldn’t have any visitors, so I just hoped that things could change,” McLane said. “... It’s very lonely when you can’t see people.”