Learning to live: State of the Story event will focus on living with loss

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. What will tonight bring?

Those were my thoughts one evening two weeks ago when a group of storytellers gathered to begin preparing for the upcoming State of the Story event titled “Learning to Live Through Loss.” This will be the eighth incarnation of a loss themed storytelling program and will take place at 7 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 17 at 3 Dots Downtown, 137 E. Beaver Ave., State College.

As in the past, this event is a collaborative effort between State of the Story and Learning to Live: What’s Your Story?

State of the Story is a local storytelling group and performance series. Learning to Live: What’s Your Story? is a separate group that facilitates various opportunities, like this column and this upcoming storytelling performance, as ways for individuals to share their stories of how they are learning to live with loss. Community members and Koch Funeral Home provide support.

Back to breathing. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

At that first preparation session, we three coaches — Evelyn Wald, Beth McLauglin and myself — watched the storytellers walk through the door one by one. These people had never been in the same space before. Each person knew at least one other person, but no one knew everyone.

We sat in a circle and engaged in light conversation over a few snacks. Once everyone was comfortable, we began with introductions, an explanation of the storytelling process, and a commitment to confidentiality. Then, one storyteller volunteered to go first.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. What story was going to be told?

The storyteller began. Nothing else was happening in the world. We were all a part of this space and this story of loss, grief, and learning to live through it. And then the story ended.

Each storyteller told a story of loss. The loss of loved ones included children, siblings, parents, grandparents, and pets, and the loss of health, dreams, and expectations.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. What were the stories beneath these stories?

After each storyteller finished, we coaches facilitated conversations about their story. What pieces of the story grabbed our attention? The art of creating a story arc. The importance of creating vivid scenes. The value of the opening and ending lines. The need to tell “a story,” not the entire story. The reminder that this feedback is about the story — not the lived experience.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. What is transpiring for the storytellers?

The storytellers listened to the feedback and asked questions. Some took notes. Their vulnerability created community. I saw moments of affirmation in their eyes.

Once everyone shared, we adjourned and gathered again a few days later for another session. Then two more times after that.

Between sessions, the storytellers worked hard developing their stories. Each telling of their stories was different. At sessions, they supported and encouraged one another. They breathed in. And breathed out.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. But what are they breathing in?

Inspiration. The root of the word “inspire” is spir. Spir means breathe. Originally, inspiration referred to divine influence. Today, the word inspiration has two meanings. One is, “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.” The second is, “the drawing in of breath, inhalation.”

This experience of creating stories together is fertile with inspiration for both the storytellers and the listeners. Storytelling itself is fertile with inspiration. As Dr. Sharon Blackie wrote in her book, “Hagitude”:

“We perceive, explain and make sense of the world through stories. They are the stars we navigate by, and that’s why storytelling is a universal human phenomenon, a vital aspect of communal life across all cultures and throughout the entirety of our known history. Stories teach us everything we know, and their lessons are deep and rich. Stories can reveal to us longings that we never knew we had, fire us up with new ideas and insights, and inspire us to grow and change. The characters in stories are great teachers, too: they are role models for our development, helping us to reimagine ourselves. Helping us to unravel who we are, and to work out who we want to become.”

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Who would you like to become?

You can consider this on Monday evening, Feb. 17, while listening to the live performance of these storytellers and their six-minute stories. We look forward to seeing you at 7 p.m. at 3 Dots Downtown, 137 E. Beaver Ave., State College. Tickets are available in advance at 3dotsdowntown.com and at the door the night of the event, $7 per person and $5 for students.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Inspiration is in the air!