Which rock star does this newborn calf look like? Shout it out loud!
In today’s episode of just-try-to-unsee-this: A calf born in Texas a few days ago has a face that looks like Kiss frontman Gene Simmons in his stage makeup.
Even weirder: The calf has its big ol’ pink tongue hangin’ out of its mouth, just like Simmons’ trademark licker.
Still weirder: The local tourism folks joked that Simmons might be the father.
The calf was named Genie.
British media were among the first to report on this freak of nature.
According to The Sun and Daily Mail, the calf was born on Heather Leonard Taccetta’s ranch. Taccetta, who works at Cowboy Steak House, marveled at the calf’s uncanny resemblance to Simmons.
She sent a photo to the local tourism folks, Hill Country Tourism, who posted in on their Facebook page.
Wrote the tourism folks, their own tongues firmly planted in cheek: “Gene Simmons, Where were you on our (sic) about November 25, 2016?”
Taccetta reported that the cows were listening to Kiss music from a rock station in San Antonio, but it’s unclear if that was before, during or after conception.
Simmons saw the Sun’s story and tweeted it out, noting: “This is real, folks!!!”
This is real, folks!!! Calf called Genie is born on Texas ranch and looks EXACTLY like Kiss rocker Gene Simmons https://t.co/m6CcUlA7cy
— Gene Simmons (@genesimmons) July 31, 2017
The photo renewed all those false rumors that Simmons, at one point, had a cow tongue grafted onto his own.
Jokes about his well-documented appetite for sex flowed, too. “What happens on the road, is supposed to stay on the road,” snarked one Facebook user.
The calf’s rare face might have just spared it from a medium-rare fate.
“Obviously, we can’t serve this fine specimen,” the tourism officials wrote, adding that Genie could instead become a mascot for the steakhouse.
Rock on, Genie.
This story was originally published July 31, 2017 at 10:05 PM with the headline "Which rock star does this newborn calf look like? Shout it out loud!."