1 year after officer’s death, lives will never be the same

So here it is almost a year since my son, Officer Bob Bradley, passed.

I now understand what it is like losing a child.

I have spent a year now dealing with the underlying discomfort of complex emotions triggered by events, places, photos and many things that our lives were tangled in.

When out and about I still hear “thank you for your service” but rarely anymore do I hear “I am sorry for your loss.”

I guess I want everyone to grieve as much as I. As such, I am reminded of an old Amish saying: “A man should not grieve overmuch, for that is a complaint against God.” I sort of understand.

I realize his passing was in God’s plan, and I have to accept it even as I don’t understand. My family and I have lived through the darkest days. I have read and I believe that God won’t lead us where his grace can’t keep us.

The hardest part for me to give up was my relationship with my Bobby. It is just tough to give up something that is pleasant.

I recall last year when hundreds came, filling the church, lining the streets, crowding the cemetery to celebrate Bobby’s life. The outpouring of sympathy, the hospitality shown my family by the police, State College borough, community and friends — and, of course, the prayers and best wishes — were welcome and started a fire that stirred a warmth in our heart to carry us through these tough times.

Please know that we are still here, it isn’t easy, and our lives will never be the same.

So I ask, if you go by the cemetery and find a posy to drop off at Bobby’s gravesite, be sure it will be noticed and perhaps that gesture will add kindling to the fire you started.

This story was originally published January 20, 2016 at 9:11 PM with the headline "1 year after officer’s death, lives will never be the same."