A peculiar problem

You know chickens just don’t lay many eggs in the dead of winter. It’s not the cold so much as the shorter days.

Recently, I was out collecting the eggs. There were three. So right there in the henhouse I launched into a spirited, motivational speech to all the girls about how they needed to pick up the pace. Three eggs from 25 chickens was unacceptable.

After I was done, Hilda, one of my favorite Buff Orpingtons, came up to me and told me that the girls would like to oblige and it wasn’t the cold nights and the short days that were holding them back. Hilda told me the real problem was that one day last fall, when I was away, Barack Obama came by and wiretapped the henhouse. Hilda said Michelle was with him.

Hilda told me the girls do a lot of BURR ROCK BUCK BUCKING, especially before laying an egg. She said, now, they were all somewhat reticent about what they BURR ROCK BUCK BUCKED about since Obama wiretapped the henhouse.

Now I’m thinking I should bring the situation to the attention of President Trump because I heard that Obama went by his place and did the same darned thing. I think this is proof positive that, among other things, we can blame Obama for the impending egg shortage.

My problem at this juncture is: I don’t know whether to report this to the FBI or the Department of Agriculture.

This story was originally published March 19, 2017 at 7:02 PM with the headline "A peculiar problem."