Centre County residents talk heartbreak, frustration of being on front lines of COVID-19 fight
Nearly every day, Dr. Ben Silverman finds himself talking to a COVID-19 patient who is scared and alone.
The pulmonary critical care physician makes the drive from College Township to the Geisinger Lewistown Hospital in the dark; he comes home in the dark. His long hours in the intensive care unit keep him away from his family.
He sees patients that could typically be sent home after a dayslong bout with a respiratory illness lingering in the hospital for weeks, worrying about what could happen if their condition continues to worsen.
“It becomes heartbreaking when that person is holding your hand before you put them on life support, telling you what they want you to tell their loved ones because they can’t even talk on the phone because they’re so short of breath,” Silverman said.
Silverman is one of the millions of front-line health care workers across the nation who have been stretched to their limit after fighting the unrelenting coronavirus for nearly a year. He and two Geisinger colleagues spoke with the Centre Daily Times via Zoom on Tuesday about the immense stress and heartbreak now attached to their jobs.
“Many times, there’s literally nothing we can do except for watch our patients die in agony, alone, without their family no matter all the supportive care that we can give them,” Silverman said.
Pleading for the community to protect each other
Pennsylvania has averaged more than 8,000 daily cases in the past two weeks, according to state Health Department data, a surge that dwarfs the two that came before it.
Centre County has more than doubled its case count since October. The county coroner’s office reported 50 deaths attributed to COVID-19 in November, more than double the amount of deaths reported in April through October combined.
More than one-third of the hospitals in the Keystone Region — home to Centre County and 15 other counties — anticipate staffing shortages in the next week, according to the state Health Department.
The staggering statistics have led to dire warnings from elected officials and medical professionals, who are trying to put an end to the cavalier attitudes and actions of those who habituated to the pandemic.
“There’s a lot of experience, there’s a lot of learning here, but it’s ten months later and this surge is nothing like the spring surge,” Dr. Chris DeFlitch, Penn State Health vice president and chief medical information officer said Thursday during a press conference to announce the state’s new temporary mitigation efforts.
Palliative medicine physician Nicki Vithalani, a Boalsburg resident who works at the Geisinger Lewistown Hospital, acknowledged the vexation that comes with Pennsylvanians who don’t wear masks, avoid large gatherings or practice proper hand hygiene.
She then quickly shifted gears, saying “I’ll leave it at that.”
Silverman didn’t.
It’s “incredibly frustrating” when people disregard advice from medical professionals who have been in the industry for decades, he said.
“There is a huge amount of hubris and overconfidence in anyone who thinks that they don’t need to wear a mask,” Silverman said. “We’ve stopped as a community thinking as the greater good and it’s always, ‘What can I do for me? How do I get better? I don’t care if anyone else gets hurt.’ And that is not the viewpoint that anyone in the hospital or in the health care system takes.”
The burden gets passed onto doctors and nurses tasked with spending upward of 80 hours per week in layers of pandemic garb, including gowns, goggles, air purifying respirators and gloves.
Silverman estimated he washes his hands 50-100 times daily, while registered nurse Susie Walker, a Ferguson Township resident who works at the hospital in Lewistown, said the only respite she has is during a lunch break where she eats alone.
Neither Vithalani, Silverman nor Walker have tested positive for the disease, though that has done little to quash their concerns about potentially spreading it to their immediate or extended families.
Vithalani hasn’t seen her California-based parents since March. Silverman has groceries delivered to his house, fuels up at gas stations where he doesn’t have to get out of his car and has canceled “bucket list” items.
“We’re pleading for the community to do right by us,” Walker said. “We’re struggling; we’re busy; we’re all working overtime. ... If you’re not gonna do it for family members, we’re asking you to do it for us so that we’re not feeling completely exhausted.”
Vaccine in sight, but not the end of challenges
The three health care workers spoke candidly about operating under increasing duress.
Geisinger brought staffers together in March for a debriefing after the health care system reported its first death attributed to COVID-19. Now, Vithalani said, that’s not possible because “we have so many passing away.”
For Walker, there is a sense of feeling overwhelmed when she sees patients making progress over a span of weeks, only to come back from scheduled days off to find out those patients died or were transferred to hospice care.
“You just get this emotion where you’re feeling very hopeful for certain patients, and then to come back and find out they passed away is heart wrenching,” Walker said. “I’ve been a nurse for 11 years and I cry every time I lose a patient. I get back to work pretty much immediately, but I cry every single time I lose a patient. It’s really hard.”
It’s a weight felt across the nation and state, and at regional health care systems.
Dr. Tiffany Cabibbo, executive vice president of patient care services and chief nursing officer at Mount Nittany Health, told the CDT last week that the health system works to support its staff during the unprecedented challenges.
“It’s stressful, and caring for people — having the responsibility for somebody — is already a huge responsibility. And I know our health care team takes that very seriously,” she said.
Vithalani lamented that some of the most difficult conversations she has with patients and their families are done over the phone or through a video camera, rather than at their bedside.
Many medical professionals are also exasperated with inaccurate information shared online that erroneously claims the disease is fake or was planned intentionally.
It’s a stark departure from the usual trust placed in nurses. The profession has been rated as the most honest and ethical for 18 consecutive years.
That could prove particularly challenging when it comes to distributing a vaccine. The belief that nobody will get sick or die once the vaccine is widely available is “not true,” Silverman said.
People will need two doses, which are expected to be given weeks apart. From there, patients will have to build their personal immunity and hope that everyone else does the same.
The process could take “months, if not years,” Silverman said.
“The idea that you’re going to get this shot and then be able to go out to restaurants, go to the football games, tailgate and see your family again immediately is dangerous at best and potentially leading to excessive deaths beyond what we’ve already had because people will be overconfident that they can’t get it,” Silverman said. “... I worry a large amount about what we’re going to do and how we’re all going to act among each other. My hope is that we all treat each other kindly, with love.”
This story was originally published December 13, 2020 at 7:00 AM with the headline "Centre County residents talk heartbreak, frustration of being on front lines of COVID-19 fight."